Time. A completely silly human device, with no apparent relation to the important markers of a life.

This is how the bi-peds measure their concept of time. Complicated, yes?

They should just live as we animals do. Eat.Sleep.Wake.Eat. Sleep…easy!

I have, therefore, introduced my system, based on the need for food after having slept off the food I last ate.

This system is known as GMT (Geiger Meal Time) and, to make it easy for “them” to understand, I have based it on a solar observance. Before the sun begins to take away the shadows I apply paw pressure*, coupled with vocalisation, to The Secretary.

At other times, vocalisation can be varied with banging of pantry doors. You will find a method that best suits your household.

One more thing…I think the “royal” epithet is entirely appropriate. So I’m appropriating it!

*(vigorous paw pressure ensures that she goes to her “litter tray” )


13 thoughts on “GMT – AN EXPLANATION

  1. I’m not sure I completely understand the paw pressure thingy. Paws with claws out? Applied vigorously? My two masters just vocalize their wants and desires – generally around 4 AM.

  2. Jazz does the raking under the bedclothes thing, while Jewel shrieks encouragement. To which she who is never obeyed says ‘quarter to four is too early’. J n J do not know what she means. If they wish to be fed – the time is right.

  3. Here’s a great cat quote from Bailey Browne (age 11) who asked Willie Morris to write “My Cat Spit McGee”, “Cats have taught me to look cute, act sweet, persist & get louder and if all else fails bring matters into your own teeth.”

  4. Luther would be so proud of you Geiger! But if the paw didn’t work for him he would move on to Licking the Human’s Forehead. That usually did it! And a persistent solo conversation (if you know what I mean?) regarding desperate need for food. And I love the quote from Mo and Ariel.

  5. Dearest Geiger, what a wonderful picture of Greenwich. It brings back many happy memories for me! I’ve even known some cats who lived in Greenwich.

    My cat Stephen likes to start the day in bed by playing a game of Hunt Gophers. Only, he pretends my feet and hands are the gophers! Isn’t that clever? He slips under the covers and latches his teeth onto my toes and fingers and pretends he is dragging them out to their deaths. Larry, who is too old for silly games now, simply bellows in a way that lets me know his mother might possibly have been a siamese cat. If that doesn’t work, then he will begin to slap my face and yell louder in my ear.

    I think, however, that the most effective way yet to get the human out of bed quickly was thought of by Dominic this very morning. He likes to sleep wrapped around my head. Which is what I thought he was going to do when he climbed onto my pillow. But instead of curling up to cuddle, he sprayed my head and pillow! It wasn’t so clever, though, since, instead of springing out of bed to feed him right away, I had to take a shower before I could open his can. And I was so mad, I gave him rather tasteless health food instead of the tuna and prawns he’d prefer.

    I guess the spraying bit might not work for you girls, though. And you’re probably too proper to use the Secretary as a litter box. Only a gauche male like Dominic would do such a thing, I’m sure.

    1. Oops! I missed this one.Sorry Ms. Chipmunk. You’re right about that peeing thing. Oh man! If we did that we’d be off to the vet in flash in case we had failing kidneys!
      I think I’ll stick to standing on her middle. 🙂

      1. Medlyn, the cat who ruled the roost here before Jazz n Jewel, not once but twice piddled on the head of the sleeping man of the house. He slept on. She did not and, since she was up and clean she could attend to Medlyn’s needs. And did;
        Medlyn was known in the house as ‘bucket bladder’ and used it as a weapon. Talk on the phone too long? He marched down to the bathroom, pulled the towels to the floor and watered them. He did not like house guest and was almost invariably sucessful in defiling their suitcases. It is just as well he was very, very cute – he needed to be.

      2. Nature makes cats cute and cuddly so they stay alive and cared for, even when they do things like spray their humans’ heads and their humans’ guests’ luggage… It’s an evolutionary survival thing.

        And I’m sure you’re right, Geiger, if you and S. tried such a thing, you’d probably be shoved in a box and hauled off to the vet faster than anything. Best to stick to the litter box and yard.

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